Saturday, June 9, 2012

Santa Jon Sabourin - Meet our Main Backup & Wing Man

Santa Jon Sabourin 

(Annie)

801-272-7440




4649 Holly Lane
Holladay, Utah 84117


If you can't get us...call them.   Jon is a former banker and current Santa at Salt Lake City's Hogle Zoo.  (He went to the zoo to drive the train and has been the overnight man there for ever.  Jon told me he just turned 70...and his health challenges are cathing up to him, but he never misses us on Christmas Eve with a bottle and a block....of timihook cheese and a cellophane sleeve of exotic water wafer crackers.

Don't try to reach him by E-mail though...he rarely goes there and only with his computer saavy daughter's help.

One year Jon hinted that he would love to borrow our Heavy-as Sin British Santa Father Christmas hooded cape.  We had it made by a talented costume maker I worked with and she chose a very heavy upholstery fabric.   It's like wearing shoulder pads.  It's balanced but heavy....

Jon's wife let him off down the street from his daughters party where the clan was gathering and he walked into a previously unlocked door...and his kids (who already know he plays Santa around town were thunderstruck!

Natrually they had to try on the suit and everybody groaned as they felt the weight.  (a PVC pipe staff candy caned with a shiny stripe of red duct tape is practical: (It gives you something to lean on with all the extra weight) and it looks smashing.)  It adds to the impression that this is THE REAL DEAL.

Funny thing about that suit.  I wore it when invited to the LDS Ward next door and suddenly relived what we've come to call the KFC nightmare.  Near the beginning of the line, a boisterous, wild eyed 9 year old (think 16 year old full back from the High School stuffed into a sugar hyper junior body) came toward me, jumping the line.    

That night I had made my way slowly through the crowd ...  violating my own prime directive that I NOT play Santa and lose the magic of SANTA to the din of clanking folding chairs being put away by Elders Moving and Storage.   My dear friend Lynn Burton, a musical and technical whiz had a great idea:  He had rigged a carioke machine to play all the great Christmas Carols for a Christmas banquet dinner style sing along the minute I walked through the door.    He flipped the switch and a fuse blew...leaving them without music or (worse) a back up plan.   Lynn foze, like a deer in the headlights, somewhere back in the Technical Shack...but no matter, my marshalls...a dozen 11 year old girls in spritely green elf uniforms and matching hats herded the kids and did a marvelous job supplying them with cellophase shrink wrapped candy and a gender appropriate toy:  Nerf footballs for the little boys and a small stuffed animal for the little girls.    

I organized the line as any good Executive Santa would...and the whiz bang assembly line began with parents coming to the edge of the stage with their cameras.....then came the blob kid....fat, hyper with chicken grease glistening from all ten fingers left over from a delicious country fried chicken dinner.

The first time he jumped the line, the elves sent him back to his buddies at the end, where he belonged.   Didn't last long.   His appetites and what Gramma Rosie and I call, "The Yimmies" brought him back...and this time I sent him back with a warning.   On the third violation (now Santa hates to drop kids for push ups...but I was careful to include his friends--so we had half a dozen 9 year olds of various weights and abilities pumpin' them out...and most everybody laughed.

The Bishop, Jon Tingey, a man I had directed a few years earlier in a stake/neighborhood musical, wandered over and just watched.   Not a hint of a smile...just watched me like the careful publisher By Jensen at the Provo eaily Herald would watch me move within his shop...no smile...just gentle watching.

The kid disappeared after the pushups...and me and my 3,000 dollar Santa rig were relieved.

I was done.  I gave token prizes to the elves and Bishop Jon in a quiet friendly way offered to walk me out....and I sensed for the first time, there may have been something amiss.  I stopped to hug and visit...and Bishop Jon patiently waited for me to make my ceremonial exit out the front door.  He held the door and I walked the half a block home, but something wasn't right.  I knew it.

Next morning we found a little anonymous envelope on the front steps..with a letter that said in part:

Mr. Howe:  You are the worst Santa I have ever seen.  You made my son's life a living hell and I will never forgive you for it.  You should strongly consider getting out of the business!  No signature.

Hmmmmmm.  Had I been so hard on the little ball of fat and wild eyes?  Was I too protective of an expensive suit remembering our freebie visit to the Headstart Program where dozens of greedy little kids hugged me and wiped their greasy fingers on our brand new suit back in the day?

Later  that morning I dropped by Bishop Jon's office.  Though I was a member of the adjoining ward, I worked in Holladay Stake Cultural Arts and I really did want to resolve things with the mom..and the kid, but with the Bishop, too!   Bishop Jon was discreet and as I sought a minute, he ushered me in and closed the door.

ME:  Bishop--I've never been walked out of a visit in nearly 40 years of doing this.  What's going on.

HIM:  Thanks for coming by.  I was going to call you.   I think, last night......um......we lost focus on what was appropriate--what our mission was.

THOUGHT  My vindictive, protective side could have protested the little kid's assault in the name of protecting...but I held my peace.

ME:  Look, Jon, I just want to make it right.

HIM:  (Relieved)  I'm so glad you feel that way (A Bishop's first duty is to be a diplomatic buffer between what could be or become warring factions)  Don't worry about it.  I'll go to the Mom and square it with her.  (He likely said with as much love as that good man could muster that he knew Santa well--and he does--and Santa felt badly about dropping her son for push ups.   As an added benefit, and I only guess, Bishop Tingey took a left over prize package...and the Mother could save face.

On reflection over the six months since, I could have handled the young man differently --either holding my nose and geting him through the line--sending a wrong message, bu solving the problem.

I could have a spare elf cap in my bag and reward bad behavior...as I often do at a stubborn visit with a rebellious but manageable child and enlist him as part of the elfin corps.....NOT!

Most likely, I should have drawn him aside and in the hub bub and fun of an assembly line visit that moved dozens of waiting children through a line....counseled him on the things he COULD BE DOING to merit a treat package---That would likely be the wisest approach...but things were moving pretty quickly....and I have learned since that my real predecessor, St. Nicholas the venerable Bishop of Cologne represented a presence who gave gifts regardless of merit.

Surely this kid got what he deserved.   Storming the barricades three times and giving up to a Santa who "had his number"   It's the ;only hate mail I've ever got as Santa...but it was not deserved.  I owe it all to an expensive set of gear and good sense. 


Friday, December 23, 2011

Santa Pioneers Visits on Internet's Skype

When my feet and legs swelled up to what seemed like basketballs, I was able to keep my commitments to my clients with Skype, the world wide Internet Phone Video system.

Tonight was my maiden voyage guiding my little motor home onto the Internet Super Highway.  It was fun..and suprisingly easy.  One year Terri Christensen and I tested the system with great success this afternoon. (It was good we did to get any last minute kinks out--like the Skype NICKNAME, that is so essential.

Last night my tech saavy son, Jeff, hooked up a suprisingly high quality camera/michrophone we got for $17 at Walmart and I was in business for FREE.

I'm marketing my services for free using Skype into the 12 days after Christmas.  Here's a piece that I hope will go VIRAL!



The description under the YouTube video (my 13th) reads like a third person newspaper report:

Jon Robert Howe is a World Class Santa Claus who toured with the famous Osmond family, charmed Robert Redford and his family and portrayed the Jolly Old Elf for more than 40 years.  This high tech computer professor has taken his Christmas Act on the Information Superhighway.

Thanks to Skype, Jon Howe can follow up on Yuletide clients old and new without leaving his comfortable home.  This year Santa Howe pioneered his Elfin routine on Skype, the two way Internet phone connection and was suprised to discover his radioactive roots in Laramie, Wyoming.

"When I was five years old, sixty years ago in 1951 the only radio station in town, a Country and Western AM with the call letters KOWB, invited children five and older to come to the station and visit with Santa." Howe remembers! Oh, I wanted to talk to Santa, but mostly I felt I was ready to break into the big time at 5 years old."   It was the sagebrush version of "Kids say the Darndest Things" that Art Linkletter made popular on television years later.

It turned out to be the beginning of a radio career that has so far spanned six decades. Jon Robert Howe has, himself, become Santa using the instant video phone capability of SKYPE.

Find out how to use Skype to visit with Santa Howe, well into January.for FREE to ask questions and talk about what you got for Christmas, e-mail a request to santahowe@hotmail.com.  For more information, watch this 1 minute:44 second YouTube presentation.  Its part of Howe's Santa College Santa Marketing Curriculum at Salt Lake City Utah's Highland Continuing Education Program.  Call 801.278.9848 for more information from Mrs. Claus. (Mrs. Claus is just sure we'll get swamped...well, frankly, for market research sake, I would love it...but I'm not worried!

JRH

PS:  THE AFTERGLOW:  December 24, 2011 [12:16:53 PM] From Santa Howe: to Terri Christensen by Skype -  

We thrilled at our first Skype visit to your home last night!  With every move your kids made:  Jumping waving, thumbing up!   Wow!!!

Santa in person is always great fun, but for me, watching you and Grampa working with us to make sure everybody heard the question!  I was so pleased at the ways you arranged to touch your sweet Ghanans.  Jokes about dating and green cards were funny and I chuckled as your dear friend from the Huntsman Cancer Center exercized with my Santa Chubby animated Doll.  It was so gratifying to hear her plans to take the Huntsman system back to her home country.

The show stopper was when Emmanuel, the SLCC student from Ghana sat in the HOT SEAT and sang his National Anthem!  Hope the reaction was as good there!  (We wiped tears and cheered at the same time!!!)

I loved how technology again flavors our wonderful Christmas memories.  Thought you'd enjoy a little more stable look at the Christensen's video from yesterday on YouTube:  Copy and paste this link into your URL  http://santascosmicsleigh.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-pioneers-visits-on-internets.html  I haven't checked to know if you can just click it here, but try it, it might just work.   Look forward to your wonderful response at santahowe@hotmail.com!!!

Much Love from Gramma Rosie Claus and me at what has turned out to be our best year ever doing Santa (over the last 40) Jon St. Nicholas Howe :))))))

Monday, July 25, 2011

Too old, too sick, too full of yourself to play Santa?


Frenetic Santa, high on Praise!
One of the fortunate things about "playing" Santa is no matter how good you are, or how powerful your magical visit is, it's over pretty quickly and you won't be back for at least a year.

I can't imagine keeping that kind of energy up year 'round.  

My wife and kids are patient with me as I practice my Santa sense of humor from December to December--but there are times when it surely must grate on them.   You can understand why the same qualities that make professional entertainers so terrific on stage or the tube,  wrecks marriages, fractures families and often ends sadly at the bottom of a bottle or in the dead end alley of addiction.   

Good as you are, thank heaven Santa only comes once a year, for their sake and yours.  

Auxiliary Santa skills often spill over into the community.  Six weeks ago, our LDS Bishopric asked if I would chair a committee to produce a Talent Show and Arts and Crafts Display on the weekend of the 24th of July --a wonderful time of year when Utah honors the courageous Mormon Pioneers with reunions, celebrations and a big parade down Salt Lake City's main drag.  

Of course I agreed and set about gathering a committee of the cream of our congregation to work out all the arrangements.   Last Friday night nearly 90 people sang and danced, displayed and exhibited and nearly 200 of our ward members showed up to celebrate.  We even had a live band and aromatic popcorn machine.   It couldn't have been more successful.  A close friend agreed to MC --and I was able to hang in the background as Executive Producer and watch everybody do their part and pull it off really quite well.

Then came the Sunday after  and all the pats on my back and the attaboys started rolling in.  The official announcement mentioned only me as the chairman of the committee and everyone else by category.  One of my best friends whispered that he had a good size pin to help relieve my swelled head--and we both had a tight little laugh.  As I wrote in a thank you note to the MC, "I love the planning and the doing--but the praising is something else."  

You begin to believe your own press releases.  Like the flu, it will pass.  I wrote back to my pin wielding friend "thanking" him for his willingness to conduct a little well meant surgery, and I included this poem, one that Santas who get a bit self-satisfied and impressed with their own value in the community would be wise to memorize and repeat when the praise gets a little intense:

"There Is No Indispensable Man"
by Saxon N. White Kessinger 


Sometime when you're feeling important; 
Sometime when your ego's in bloom 
Sometime when you take it for granted 
You're the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going 
Would leave an unfillable hole, 
Just follow these simple instructions 
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water, 
Put your hand in it up to the wrist, 
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining 
Is a measure of how you will be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter, 
You may stir up the water galore, 
But stop and you'll find that in no time 
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example 
Is do just the best that you can, 
Be proud of yourself but remember, 
There's no indispensable man.


The Flu spoils Santa's  perfect attendance
This applies to Santa in a sick bed, too.   At the height of my Santa career I was playing to big family and corporate parties two and three a night for most of December.  My greatest fear was that I get run down and suffer larangitis--so I took extra care to get enough sleep, relax, drink plenty of fluids and eat healthy.  Most of the time I was successful, but now and again through the years, I've invested in more cough drops and losenges than I care to remember.  (My first exciting year on tour with Marie Osmond I was fighting a cold the whole trip!)  A few years ago I succumbed to a little stroke in November and my doctors agreed with my wife that I should take a little time off--you guessed it--all during December that year.   

Being Santa--a poor excuse
for NOT losing weight
I would have made a lousy Santa anyway.  The stroke temporarily robbed me of my timing, my stage sense and most of all all my jokes!   Worse than larangitis on Christmas Eve is the rest of my life without humor because a little blood clot decided to go wild in a capillary under my hat!  

Gratefully, it turned out to be next to nothing and I came back, but the episode almost made me almost want to lose my Santa Belly.  A pediatric radiologist a dear friend  told me matter of factly that if I didn't lose a few lbs I could expect another stroke--and likely worse.  He taught me that, "Time is Brain"  I had assumed that my rotten feeling was an attack of low blood sugar--and I waited for two or three days to have it checked out with a brain scan.  "Instead of gulping a peanut butter sandwich, you should have immediately headed for the hospital emergency room." he warned.  I pass this on to stroke-prone diabetic overweight and otherwise jolly Santas everywhere.

Well, you gotta die of sumpin'  I'm 64 and though I don't have grandkids yet and my wife would be left with little more than last season's tax returns, I'm ready to go at any time!  (Sorry, I didn't mean to call down any death wish thunderbolts and such--but I keep a wary eye up,  just in case lol)

Death for  Santa would be hopefully conducted with dignity and out of sight of his impressionable young friends.  Moms and Dads can invent all kinds of stories about the event or even better, hire a jolly friend to fill in from now on.  

We moved to Washington D.C. while I worked as a news director in a big radio station--and we got homesick at Christmas for several of our friends and Santa clients.  I can remember calling one guy we had performed for many years and attempting to entertain him, by himself, long distance.   Trust me, it wasn't quite the same as the usual family gathering with the fun of dozens of his kids and grand kids laughing along.  That would be the only downside of leaving my Santa practice prematurely.

Beyond a stroke or larangitis, pneumonia blooming the day before Christmas eve is the worst.  I spent three or four days in the hospital getting reacquainted with my lungs.   It was the year I grew my own beard and the nurses (particularly the pretty blonde one that gently removed my sweats and helped me take a long over due shower) chuckled at my wheezing jokes and took better care of me than some others, I'd guess.  Something about not being able to turn IT off--even though my body could no longer support the spirit of Christmas!

When will I get out of the business?  Not as long as I can stuff myself in my little Kia-sleigh and hobble up the stairs to ply my Yuletide trade.  I know Santas in their 80s and 90s who still slip into their elegant suits, tailored to cover their weight loss in later years and bring a bit of cheer to patients our veteran's hospital.

The "fun" of playing the jolly old guy since I was in my late twenties is that now that I have the odd aching knees and creaking joints, I don't have to "act" so much.

Finally, Santa, if you have survived excessive praise and the ailments common to the Jolly Old Elf in his later years who would rather rise early and stay up late, refusing to take care of himself and burn out before the season ends, good on ya!  You've managed the performance process pretty well!  You have survived and kept the "machine" oiled and ready to give again another day.  We who wear the cap and bells and red and white salute you for your good sense, sound judgement and, well, BEING wise enough to portray the jolly old man himself!

JRH



Sunday, July 24, 2011

A Professional Santa explains!

Here's a "line" that worked for me this morning:

Visiting with a 95 year old sister at church, I introduced myself, "as a professional Santa, but I shaved this morning, so you won't get the total effect."  (After last year's experiment with a full beard from April to January, this Claus is smooth shaven and happily avoiding the comparisons to Otis from the Andy Griffith Show or your random homeless guy)

The timing was just right. She was saavy enough to "get it" and gave me a well earned chuckle! Please use it where appropriate, at no extra charge!

JRH

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Santa Involves Audience with Rhythm Instruments

Sixteen Sanitary (non blowing) Rhythm Band Instruments

One of the most successful techniques I have used over the last 30+ years of "elfing" is an entrance process that ends up involving especially the youngest members of my home audience playing rhythm band instruments and singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"

My dear friend James Arrington, currently the chairman of the Theater and Cinematic Arts Department at Utah Valley State University once dubbed me the "Mystic Santa" and in a few moments you'll understand why.

When the hostess calls--(and it's almost always the hostess who calls, rather than the host)  to make her first appointment with us, my wife, Rosie explains how I will enter for maximum effect.

1.  At the designated date and time, Santa calls Hostess on his Cell Phone for the "All Clear".  After Santa has driven to the "gig" and parked up the street, a cell phone call to the hostess is essential.  Sometimes an unforseen circumstance makes it better for me to wait a few minutes while tears are dried or someone shows up a bit late.    Its a lot more fun for everyone if Santa makes his entrance at just the right moment.

2.  Clue the Hostess to open the front window drapes early so the kids can see Santa appear.  In Utah there is often four or five lovely inches of snow on the ground and we explain that Santa will "magically appear".  In fact I just park down the street out of "eye shot" and carry my tool bags to a place in the middle of the front yard and stand, playing an old concertina so the music cues the Hostess to call her young guest's attention to the front yard.  The "POOF" happens when they realize, suddenly that Santa is out there.  (If the Hostess has chosen to use little wrapped dollar giifts to help santa with notes about congratulations and things each child can do better, their sack (usually a non descript plastic garbage bag) has been placed outside the front door in a way that I can pick it up as the kids guide me into the house.

3.  Pulling the Frozen Mute Santa into the house.  Often, to enhance the "mystery" I will stand on the lawn with my back to the window just enough so I can see the excitement going on inside.  The Hostess will encourage the older children to go out and bring Santa in--and when I hear the front door open, I freeze.  (The illusion of frozen Santa lends itself to the concept of mute Santa going forward)  I have kids come out into the snow in their bare feet and grab me by the arm, gently turning me around and escorting me up onto the porch and into the house.

4.  The Mute Santa strangely quiets the babies and fascinates the skeptics both old and young.  I discovered early on that energy bounces off energy, but most young rebel kids (who say they don't believe) don't know quite how to deal with a Santa who doesn't speak.  Young children, for whom Santa is a big red and white blur, cower at a too loud and way to jolly HO HO HO.   A Mute Santa invites further investigation--and that curiosity is almost always without a whimper or a scream.   One young grandmother couldn't seem to stand the silence as I slowly made my way to the piano bench and encouraged her grandchildren to sing a Santa carol.   It only happened once,but you would have to know this good woman, ever ready to swoop in and save what might seem to be a lull in the action.  During this process its been fun to listen to what the kids chatter about, often asking--"Is Santa sick?" or "How come you can't talk"

5. I head for the Piano Bench.  Most folks think Santa should sit in the most comfortable chair in the room--and often buy into the seeming incapacities of a mute and frozen Santa--and gently guide me to that chair.  But since I'm going to play piano anyway for the elfin rhythm band, I head there.

6. Removing Santa's Big Coat with the Reindeer Lining.  As though it were a magicians reveal, I stand and slowly unzip my outer coat to reveal a red and white pinstriped shirt, a classy green suede inner vest and a big roomy Santa Workshop outer Vest festooned with big pockets for both travel essentials and secret prizes.  If the room is "into" the mute and frozen Santa, there is usually a hush as little boys and girls snuggle with parents to see what happens next.   Wise parents will coach their youngsters with appropriate oohs and ahhs and reinforce Santa's authentic regalia.

7.  Designate a young coat rack.  Feigning helplessness, I  hold my coat in one hand and invite one of the older kids in the group (often the one who braved the snow to invite me inside) to come and stand by me.  Often these courteous folks will offer to hang up the coat, but instead I offer a sleeve and with a grin they put it on.  The crowd often chuckles as I try to make it fit, wrapping the ample fabric around the skinny torso of the kid.  (This gesture in silence becomes Santa's new method of communication and most crowds, even the unruly ones buy in and play along)

8. "You need a hat"  Once appropriately dressed in Santa's big red coat, Santa gestures with raised eyebrows  pointing to his hat and pointing to the youth's head.  Often gesturing generates another gesture--nod of the head and another grin...and Santa is ready with a hat from his red bag.

9.  Rhythm Band in Elf Hats.  The junior Santa hat from the bag contains one of the sixteen sanitary (non blowing) rhythm band instruments illustrated in the picture above.  Santa goes through the crowd choosing with a look or a pointed finger the members of the rag tag Elfin band.  My collection of hats includes a battered old Frosty Top Hat, a tall Cat in the Hat Hat, a wonderful Jester cap and tiny bells and more than a dozen of Santa Hats I picked up through the years at dollar stores and Walmart Sales.  With each choice who lines up with his buddies, there's some experimentation--and that's fine.   I often include adults, especially with the non-Santa Hats.   When we sing Frosty the Snowman the one with the Frosty Hat is supposed to dance around on the chorus---(Which I play very fast, just for the fun of it)

10.  The Elfin Band as Photo Op!  Most parents who are saavy with digital or video cameras know a photo opportunity when they see it.   The Elfin Rhythm Band is a great way to include all the cute kids and some of the cute adults in a shot that will live for ever--making this Christmas something very special.

11.  Santa Speaks! When all the players have been appropriately hatted and equipped, Santa speaks!  "So, do you sing?" Santa asks.  (Some kids even marvel out loud that he CAN talk!)   "Do you know the Hallelujah Chorus?"   Santa pounds out the first several notes--and gets them singing, however reluctantly.  "Do you know any Russian Weatherman predicting Precipitation songs?"   "What?" they shout.  "You know--Russian Weatherman predicting Precipitation songs?  Oh, c'mon!  Everybody knows, 'Rudolph, the Red Knows Rain, Dear!"   And Santa plays the introduction and gets everybody singing.

12.  Singing and Dancing Elves!  To vary the action, I will stop after five or six bars of music and say, "Oh, I forgot to tell you--this is a singing and dancing Elfin Band."  Then I teach them a simple step kick, step kick--and they always get it wrong---making the videos fun to watch.  Once they get the dancing somewhat in line , I often speed up the piano.  The speed dancing is pretty fun to watch.    On the line, " Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"  I stop and loudly ask, "Well, what did he say?"   Most kids have been singing from memory and the meaning of the song hasn't passed their brain--just gone from the memory to their mouth...and they're confused again. So Santa says, "What did he say-- you know..and I speak the lyrics, Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?    And......."   Generally somebody will guess the right answer and shout out, "YES!!!"  and I play on the rest of the song to the end. 

13.   Re-stocking the Elf Hats with Instruments:  When the fun has reached the climax-- I usually designate a bag holder among the adults or older kids and invite the kids in the rhythm band to take off their hats, put their instruments in their hat and stuff them in the bag.  That frees me up to sit on the piano bench--or a good stout chair near the Christmas Tree and begin the ritual of handing out the dollar gifts.

14.  Explaining the Rules of the Dollar Gifts:  I invite the kids to go sit with their parents.  This encourages family closenss, but for Santa it keeps the mob from forming quite so quickly.  When everybody has snuggled in, I announce that, "It's time for the PRE CHRISTMAS EVALUATION!  I think you all know that the Elves have been watching you this last year and taking very good notes.  If you get to bed early on Christmas Eve I'll be bringing filled stockings and all the big presents your hearts desire --  but tonight I brought you a few little things in exchange for your honest answers to my questions.    Before we get started, I have one ground rule---we don't open any presesnt until everybody gets them!  Is everybody good with that?"

15.  Distribution of the Dollar Gifts.  The little yo yos, brush and comb sets and model cars are wrapped for a purpose (See 16. EXIT STRATEGY below)  Each one has a little card taped to it to prompt Santa.   My wife, Rosie explains to the Hostess that the first item on the card should merit congratulations--an award at school, a championship little league team record--The best helper Mom has in the kitchen--things that Santa can encourage and elicit applause for.  The second thing on the card should be an area of improvement--over the years I've had favorites-- leaving several wet towels on the bathroom floor after a shower is one of my favorite.  On stage at the Music Fair with the Osmonds in Valley Forge Pennsylvania, a little girl's mom told me that she had terrible problems eating beans.  The resulting "mini-explosions" were embarrassing.  It was all I could do to ask the sweet little 9 year old about it without either one of us using the other F-word.!  These hints should be light and fun--but allow Santa to get the child to raise his hand and promise to improve in some way.  Often, to free me up, I'll ask an older child to reach into the garbage sack and give Santa the present.  (Sometimes the little guy or gal will telegraph the name of the next child on Santa's Lap--and that can be fun, too.   This is a photo op for each individual child.  It doesn't hurt for Rosie to encourage parents to pass the word that new batteries are a good investment for this evening as a family

16.  The Exit Strategy. With everyone shaking their little dollar gifts excitement to open them has built and built.  This is the perfect time for Santa to "disappear"   Here's how it's done:  Santa stands (and checks all his gear. The coat has been retrieved.  Everything is in it's appropriate bag--and he gets ready to quickly gather his gear and beat it out the door.  "It's time now to open the gifts you got tonight.  Please form a circle. (This gives Santa time to pick up his gear and head toward the door with the kids' attention involved in the circle.) For some reason forming a circle takes a while, but when it is accomplished Santa has a chance to teach a little about gift giving with words like these:  "Now, please place your gifts on the floor in front of you.  With every gift you should know that someone who cares a lot about you took the time and trouble to wrap something very special up for you.  I hope you're thinking much less about what you're getting and much more about what you're planning on giving to your special someones.  At your age you don't have a lot of money, but you could save a little of your allowance and buy your mom a little perfume.  They make these tiny bottles of shaving lotion for your dad.  What matters is that you become a GIVER not just a GIMME--and that's the lesson of every Christmas gift you ever get.  NOW--pick up your gift and we'll all count down 1, 2, 3 and open them!  Ready?  Count with me now, ONE TWO THREE.   On Three every attention is focused on the circle and the gifts and Santa can slip away.  When the fun of the gift opening has faded, I've been told some little ones will wonder where Santa went--how he disappeared.  Simple misdirection, yes?   Attentive Hostesses will chide the children to say good by to Santa as a courteous gesture, but Rosie will encourage them to focus instead on their children and let Santa leave undetected.

Over the years, I've developed this FIRST VISIT with all it's ins and outs and "magic" built in.  I find myself trying new things--but these sixteen steps are the main structure.  

As children get used to me as more of a familiar presence and older friend, I've developed other techniques to bring back the magic of this first visit.

GOLD FRANKENSENSE AND MYRRH utilizes an ancient looking box and guilded containers with lotion made to smell like the bitter Frankensense and sweet Myrrh.  Little children especially like having these two lotions dabbed on the back of their hands and smelling them, sharing them with their parents and family as I describe what each one was for and why it was so valuable.   In a dollar store I picked up plastic gold coins and give one to each child to put in his "collection"  As a teacher, Santa can ask the question, what did Mary and Joseph do with these gifts from the three kings etc.   I conclude with a rephrase of the lesson in step 16 above about becoming a GIVER and not just a GIMME.

THE PEPPERMINT NOODLE TOSS Rosie sewed some red and white striped material on the bias (Diagonally) that yielded three long sacks about 4 inches across and 3 feet long.   Into these sacks we stuffed dozens of plastic grocery sacks.  They became straight giant candy canes that when held just so resembled giant canes with their crook.  I read that a candy maker in Chicago invted candy canes in the form of the letter J in honor of the Savior of the World.  Most people turn them upside down so they resemble the shepherd's crooks.  In function they be become a big muscle game that Santa can draft athletic adults (either men or women) to stand opposite each other and toss two of the peppermint noodles back and forth at the same time.   After each successful toss and release, Santa encourages each contestant to step back one pace and try again.   A large room or hallway without breakable nick nacks is necessary.  When one contestant drops the noodle, another is chosen to take his/her place.   This continues as long as there is energy for it.

JINGLE STICKS  Two fairly wide PVC Pipe pieces filled with jingle bells of several sizes and room for them to slide up and down are capped with PVC end caps.   Santa chooses two contestants and they are invited to sing a familiar Santa Song and bang and twirl the Jingle Sticks in time to their own music.  The crowd can be enlisted to help sing.  At the end of the song, Santa can hold his hand over each head and solicit applause to determine the winner.  This an also determine the winner.

SANTA SUMO  Of all the Santa Stunts that Santa as Cruise Director provides is breaking out the two pairs of 4X Red Long Underwear we bought several years ago at Intermountain Farmers.  At the appropriate time in a visit, Santa will produce the two Santa Sumo suits and plastic baggies filled with Twenty 12" multi colored balloons.  Santa chooses two Champions (young enough to do some rough and tumble without causing shortness of breath or heart palpatations)  Young fathers are great for this.  If you can search out the rivalries or ask the hostess this will work even better.  Each Champion can pick his own team of four or five folks (kids and adults) to help him blow up the baloons and stuff them inside the red underwear that they have each climbed into.   Be prepared for some fun when someone discovers the trap door on the bottom.   Santa encourages blow up teams to fill up the balloons as much as they can.    Little balloons simply prolong the agony.    When the combatants are fully stuffed, bike helmets to protect their heads are strapped on.  I use one red helmet and one greet helmet to tell the players apart somewhat--and the challenge is given.   The first champion to pop all the balloons in his opponent's suit wins the challenge.   Everyone cheers, "On your MARK, get SET, GO! And they're off!  Often they run at each other from the far ends of the room.  The collision often does not pop anything--and they go at it, rolling and pinching baloons until the job is done  .A family I know bought two pair of their own giant red underwear and a gross of big balloons,  they liked this gag so much.  It's become a funny grudge match at family reunions.  My experience is that everyone laughs and smiles so much their faces hurt!  Even in small living rooms, families have a good time with this stunt.   Marie Osmond's Road Manager and I have been good friends for many years--and his two teen age boys dived in to try this when I first came up with it.  He grinned and said he couldn't wait for the next Christmas to have a rematch!

Santa is a teacher, a song leader, a cruise director and an inspirational friend in turns as the activity changes and the needs of the different adiences demand.  These are a few of my best ones.  You're most welcome to use them with my full permission at no charge.  It's the kind of gift that good Santas make to one another.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Uncle Wizard Pal - On Loving Surrogate Gramkids!

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Dear Peter,

Such wonderful brotherly love is rare--but I feel it every time you invite me into your family's lives. My old Laramie Scoutmaster, Larry Parker, a professor of wool science, long since passed in Botswana giving of himself to that continent, much like you do, once taught us we should make close friendships with younger folks--like Ben, Cole, Noah and Jackson. He said that our older friends would move on to the spirit world...and we would be awfully lonely unless we worked to generate friendship among the young.

I've enjoyed knowing the Van Dam Family in the same way. Joe, their loving wild third child calls me Uncle Wizard Pal. I call him Cheetah Joe--lopsided trade in my favor.

Since Rosie and I haven't been blessed with grandchildren (yet), and she is virtually unable to leave the house with all the things going on with her knees, her tummy and her migrane headaches--she appreciates the pictures of my adventures without having to put up with all the details that cause her pain.

J. Wizard Claus 2010

Gloria Cottam, our across the street neighbor and a former teacher told me the other day that I had missed my calling, She said I should have been a teacher because the kids can feel I love them almost instantly. I thanked her- and looked back over nearly 30 years as Santa with the Osmonds and all the family parties. I've been polishing my techniques with surrogate grand kids all those years. My classroom has turned to be out a bit bigger, I think.

Another great friend, James Arrington, calls me the mystic Santa--for the times I've showed up at the window and thrilled his little son--and then was invited in to deliver on the mystical promise of that initial appearance.

Over the years I've developed a closetful of tricks and techniques that involve youngsters--I could likely get a job as an activity leader in an elementary school. We've developed the idea that If you don't have your own, adopt some-- grandkids!

Thanks for your note, Peter. Friendship in the Kingdom just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?. I'm glad you all enjoyed the pictures. For Rosie those pictures are a way out of the house to enjoy our friends--from a distance.

I love and appreciate you and all yours. Thank you for radiating the genuine love of the gospel to me and so many others!

Your friend,
 J.  Wizard Claus
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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dermatologist to the North Pole, STAT!




Dear Doctors- When I came home after our visit, I noticed what appeared to be letters poking through my stomach. After your complete review of my delusion that I am, in fact, Santa Claus; and in light of your comments about the nature of the bottom of my front, I believe there are psychosomatic issues in play that could be disturbing in one so young (63).

I have carefully documented the condition here and hope that you will excuse the bad spray-on tan and my obvious surprise.

Naturally I don't plan to share this development with anyone but my closest family and friends and hope that they will keep my confidence. Any reference to: “My Father (or my friend) the Jello Man” could offend Bill Cosby!

What would you recommend so the letters don't show quite so prominently through my red and white Christmas in July Aloha shirt?